My like life reads like a book. In my story there is the main characters, Shmoe, Chonnie, and BeeBop. That is my immediate family. Then you add the characters who have wit, charm, and total and utter disregard for what they say around other people. (And they are my friends and family) . And then there is me, main character, narrator and audience.
Sometimes I cannot believe the things I am hearing, then other times, I will be listening to someone, daze out and miss what they were saying. (It's times like that, that I wish I could re-read what they were saying, and not look like an ass who doesn't pay attention!)
Other times I find myself, going back and re-reading the page over and over because i find i cannot retain any of the information that has been presented before me.
And when I want to go back to certain chapters, if I really look back, I find that certain pages and chapters have been written differently or completely omitted. Where the hell did they go?
Guess it means that they didn't matter as much as I thought they did at the time.
Makes you think what is actually gonna be worth "reading" when the time comes to look back. And what turns out to be the small stuff that wasted our time...
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Writers block? (or the reality of a busy mom)
You know what sucks? Running out of ideas because your a mom and your A) To busy to take a moment to breath, let alone think and B) to GD tired!
Between work, upkeep of home, sports, fundraisers, dogs and dinner (plus a few more) I haven't had a single idea pop into my head. You would think that Shmoe would say "take a break honey, I can see your tired, and need a moment to decompress" you would think that too wouldn't you (then your a man reading this). But it will never happen. Sounds a little like the fifties.
Writing is my passion (and after 10 years with Shmoe I need to have SOME passion!!) but with work (which i love since I'm out of my house for a bit), Playoffs, and TWO baseball seasons starting, Plus everything else I have no time to think! I write in my sleep, and when I check my blog I think "oh yeah, that wasn't real". Hope to get back my cha cha chah soon.
Between work, upkeep of home, sports, fundraisers, dogs and dinner (plus a few more) I haven't had a single idea pop into my head. You would think that Shmoe would say "take a break honey, I can see your tired, and need a moment to decompress" you would think that too wouldn't you (then your a man reading this). But it will never happen. Sounds a little like the fifties.
Writing is my passion (and after 10 years with Shmoe I need to have SOME passion!!) but with work (which i love since I'm out of my house for a bit), Playoffs, and TWO baseball seasons starting, Plus everything else I have no time to think! I write in my sleep, and when I check my blog I think "oh yeah, that wasn't real". Hope to get back my cha cha chah soon.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
My (Trashy) Little Secret....
Everyone one has their vice, their go to thing that makes them feel better when they need it.
It's escapism, a stress reliever, that which makes one feel better.
In this day and age who doesn't have one vice, I don't know anyone without one. They can range from smoking, to gambling, fishing, and drugs. Even odd ones such as smelling clean wet jeans, make up and hair to, I don't know eating dirt, laundry soap (now that chic had problems) and pottery.
Mine just happens to be a bit more embarrassing, and a bit trashy. I am addicted to trashy romance novels, especially with a glass of wine and a full tub of bubbles.
I cannot help it, I love to read, and I read other genre of books, but I just CAN'T walk away from a story of an epic love affair. Some of these stories (the ones hidden at the back of the store, behind other books) are dirtier than that of some (ahem) movies (so I've heard). And they tell a story of two ordinary people, (with descriptions of men that I have dreamed of, but know do NOT exist) who happen to cross paths and realize they are meant for each other (if only in real life). And in their courting, some (cough cough) rather steamy boudoir scenes!
These stories have all to do with the romantic buried (deep, deeep deeeep) down inside me. I know nothing in real life can compare to this so I don't get my hopes up.
But this is one of those things that only the closest to me know. Romances are my kinda Kryptonite. I cant walk by and not but the one staring me down.
Guess its better than eating cigga butt ashes?!
It's escapism, a stress reliever, that which makes one feel better.
In this day and age who doesn't have one vice, I don't know anyone without one. They can range from smoking, to gambling, fishing, and drugs. Even odd ones such as smelling clean wet jeans, make up and hair to, I don't know eating dirt, laundry soap (now that chic had problems) and pottery.
Mine just happens to be a bit more embarrassing, and a bit trashy. I am addicted to trashy romance novels, especially with a glass of wine and a full tub of bubbles.
I cannot help it, I love to read, and I read other genre of books, but I just CAN'T walk away from a story of an epic love affair. Some of these stories (the ones hidden at the back of the store, behind other books) are dirtier than that of some (ahem) movies (so I've heard). And they tell a story of two ordinary people, (with descriptions of men that I have dreamed of, but know do NOT exist) who happen to cross paths and realize they are meant for each other (if only in real life). And in their courting, some (cough cough) rather steamy boudoir scenes!
These stories have all to do with the romantic buried (deep, deeep deeeep) down inside me. I know nothing in real life can compare to this so I don't get my hopes up.
But this is one of those things that only the closest to me know. Romances are my kinda Kryptonite. I cant walk by and not but the one staring me down.
Guess its better than eating cigga butt ashes?!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Cooperation with the Working Mom
OK moms, raise your hands if you feel appreciated.....(Any one?)
Nope, my hand is down too. You know I knew there would be challenges when I went back to work, but I didn't think any of them would involve lack of help at home. Man what a wake up call.
The first day I came home from work after everyone had been home all day and the house was trashed and nothing was done, I thought OK I'm pissed, but this is an adjustment for everyone.
WELL this is week FIVE that I've come home to a messy house and everyone expecting me to do it, STILL.
It makes me want to cry, it's like no one thinks that mom is a person, just a robot . A robot that needs to work, and cook, and clean, make school lunches, make sure that THERE IS FOOD to make school lunches, laundry etc.
Tonight I had to go into my bed and lay down,(and scream into my pillow) so that I didn't fly off the handle.
Is a little help too much to ask for? Am I expected to be all and still want to be around these people I am supposed to love no matter what? (Yes I do often want Calgon to take me away forever on occasion.)
It's like Shmoe thinks well she has a Part Time job, and when shes not at work, she can do what we don't. Its OK.
OK for whom? Wheres my robot?
I find a nice bottle (or seven) of wine, a hot bath and a good book are a nice distraction from it all. But I've noticed since I've started working, who has time for baths and books? Someone should write an "Ode to a hot 4 minute shower" because if it weren't for them I might never have clean hair.
Peace out!
Nope, my hand is down too. You know I knew there would be challenges when I went back to work, but I didn't think any of them would involve lack of help at home. Man what a wake up call.
The first day I came home from work after everyone had been home all day and the house was trashed and nothing was done, I thought OK I'm pissed, but this is an adjustment for everyone.
WELL this is week FIVE that I've come home to a messy house and everyone expecting me to do it, STILL.
It makes me want to cry, it's like no one thinks that mom is a person, just a robot . A robot that needs to work, and cook, and clean, make school lunches, make sure that THERE IS FOOD to make school lunches, laundry etc.
Tonight I had to go into my bed and lay down,(and scream into my pillow) so that I didn't fly off the handle.
Is a little help too much to ask for? Am I expected to be all and still want to be around these people I am supposed to love no matter what? (Yes I do often want Calgon to take me away forever on occasion.)
It's like Shmoe thinks well she has a Part Time job, and when shes not at work, she can do what we don't. Its OK.
OK for whom? Wheres my robot?
I find a nice bottle (or seven) of wine, a hot bath and a good book are a nice distraction from it all. But I've noticed since I've started working, who has time for baths and books? Someone should write an "Ode to a hot 4 minute shower" because if it weren't for them I might never have clean hair.
Peace out!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
The Sad Truth about Parenthood
Parenthood...Ahhhh so rewarding right?
Truth is I don't know, yet. And i wont ever know until my children are grown up and have kids of their own. Yay. Cant wait to be a grandparent, much more fun (so i hear).
Right now all I know is that my kids hate me most of the time, I think they hate each other by the way they fight, and that I'm so "lame" oh and "unfair".
My kids have chores so they can earn their own money or rewards, but all they think is that they are doing chores so "Mom doesn't have too"!!!
What happened to the pride of a job done, and done right? I don't know, I don't even think my younger brother learned that.
Back when I was a tween my two dollar a WEEK allowance was AWESOME (singsongy high voice), I could spend it however i wanted.
My oldest has a cell phone he doesn't have to earn, a bank account he doesn't contribute to, and thinks that its our job to give him money when he wants it. Don't get me wrong he does complete his chores in a timely and thorough manner, but he expects twice his earnings if he does it without fighting and whining. And don't even get me started on his younger brother who is mor3e than a little lazy and refuses to do anything unless threats are involved (Yes threats and BRIBERY I am that kind of mom when I'm tired).
Where did this sense of entitlement come from in today's youth? Is it the technological revolution? Is it because we as adults came to age in a booming economy? Or is it our fault, because we were ashamed of being children born into a recession and giving our children what we wanted but our parents could never afford to give us?
You tell me.
Stay tuned
Truth is I don't know, yet. And i wont ever know until my children are grown up and have kids of their own. Yay. Cant wait to be a grandparent, much more fun (so i hear).
Right now all I know is that my kids hate me most of the time, I think they hate each other by the way they fight, and that I'm so "lame" oh and "unfair".
My kids have chores so they can earn their own money or rewards, but all they think is that they are doing chores so "Mom doesn't have too"!!!
What happened to the pride of a job done, and done right? I don't know, I don't even think my younger brother learned that.
Back when I was a tween my two dollar a WEEK allowance was AWESOME (singsongy high voice), I could spend it however i wanted.
My oldest has a cell phone he doesn't have to earn, a bank account he doesn't contribute to, and thinks that its our job to give him money when he wants it. Don't get me wrong he does complete his chores in a timely and thorough manner, but he expects twice his earnings if he does it without fighting and whining. And don't even get me started on his younger brother who is mor3e than a little lazy and refuses to do anything unless threats are involved (Yes threats and BRIBERY I am that kind of mom when I'm tired).
Where did this sense of entitlement come from in today's youth? Is it the technological revolution? Is it because we as adults came to age in a booming economy? Or is it our fault, because we were ashamed of being children born into a recession and giving our children what we wanted but our parents could never afford to give us?
You tell me.
Stay tuned
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
The Thing about Money
Money was created by a man. Money was created by a man, so he could make a woman feel small.
I find myself thinking this after having a conversation with my un-husband about work and money.
I'm a working mom now, because Shmoe thought that a second income would be a good idea, and because it would be "good" for my "self esteem" to get out of the house once and a while.
Well week four brings no clean house when I get out, no floors swept, not even a parcel of paper picked up from it's spot on the table. But that is because my "job" (twenty hours out of the week) doesn't count.
My job doesn't matter because I haven't worked for near ten years. My job doesn't count because I do not make as much as he makes. It's always about money.
My job makes me feel appreciated for the hard work I put in, it made me think I could be an equal to my partner, it makes me think my kids will respect a working mom. What it really does is cause more problems in my un-marrage than not making any money at all!
When does more equal enough? There is never enough money. I live pretty comfortably, and think that I could use a few cutbacks in my budget. But Shmoe thinks that him working harder and more often would be a better idea. Working more equals less time at home, while I'm at work, and the kids are home. The one day a week I need him most will now become MY problem. ALONG with laundry, dinner, grocery shopping, making lunch getting kids to school, work, homework, taking care of dogs, and a list of others.
Such is the problem with money, and the reason I know, Men Created Money!
Keep reading thanx!
I find myself thinking this after having a conversation with my un-husband about work and money.
I'm a working mom now, because Shmoe thought that a second income would be a good idea, and because it would be "good" for my "self esteem" to get out of the house once and a while.
Well week four brings no clean house when I get out, no floors swept, not even a parcel of paper picked up from it's spot on the table. But that is because my "job" (twenty hours out of the week) doesn't count.
My job doesn't matter because I haven't worked for near ten years. My job doesn't count because I do not make as much as he makes. It's always about money.
My job makes me feel appreciated for the hard work I put in, it made me think I could be an equal to my partner, it makes me think my kids will respect a working mom. What it really does is cause more problems in my un-marrage than not making any money at all!
When does more equal enough? There is never enough money. I live pretty comfortably, and think that I could use a few cutbacks in my budget. But Shmoe thinks that him working harder and more often would be a better idea. Working more equals less time at home, while I'm at work, and the kids are home. The one day a week I need him most will now become MY problem. ALONG with laundry, dinner, grocery shopping, making lunch getting kids to school, work, homework, taking care of dogs, and a list of others.
Such is the problem with money, and the reason I know, Men Created Money!
Keep reading thanx!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Why Sundays Are Suckish...
So its Sunday, most peoples day of rest. Not so much for me. I work Sundays, all Sunday. So early to bed Saturday night.
Anyways I get up on Sunday morning to our new puppy, her wet paws clawing at my face so she can play. Fun. Next pry myself outta bed so I can make me and Hubsters some coffee. All the while my boys are in the background screaming and fighting about how this one did this but that one started it and what they're gonna do to each other if it keeps up. Yay!
( A Good Mom probably would have pried them apart, but I hadn't had coffee yet, and before coffee I'm not a Good Mom.)
Well then I realize there is no cereal or eggs in my house, because the Good Mom hasn't gone food shopping and supplies are low. So I throw on clothes, drive to the store, (without heating up my car like a responsible car owner would have), and freeze so I can make my kids eggs and bacon before I have to get to work.
Brekky done its time to get ready for work. (Is it bad that I use my dryer to "freshen" my shirts because I forgot to wash?) Makeup on, hair "combed", dog tearing up a sock, and kids still screaming, shoes? Nowhere to be found. Go figure.
Time for work.
Get to work by the skin of my teeth on time. I see the list that's been left for me and think, Hmm, this looks like my home to do list. Lets see how much I get done. Halfway through I realize, Crap it's Shmoes birthday on Wednesday and I haven't made a menu or got ingredients for ANYTHING. Coincidentally its also my mother in laws and nephews birthday this week and I'm working, Shmoes working and the kids are home on school vacation.
Oh well, I got Saturday to look forward to. Casino!! More like FREE DRINKS AND NO KIDS!
Stay tuned!
Anyways I get up on Sunday morning to our new puppy, her wet paws clawing at my face so she can play. Fun. Next pry myself outta bed so I can make me and Hubsters some coffee. All the while my boys are in the background screaming and fighting about how this one did this but that one started it and what they're gonna do to each other if it keeps up. Yay!
( A Good Mom probably would have pried them apart, but I hadn't had coffee yet, and before coffee I'm not a Good Mom.)
Well then I realize there is no cereal or eggs in my house, because the Good Mom hasn't gone food shopping and supplies are low. So I throw on clothes, drive to the store, (without heating up my car like a responsible car owner would have), and freeze so I can make my kids eggs and bacon before I have to get to work.
Brekky done its time to get ready for work. (Is it bad that I use my dryer to "freshen" my shirts because I forgot to wash?) Makeup on, hair "combed", dog tearing up a sock, and kids still screaming, shoes? Nowhere to be found. Go figure.
Time for work.
Get to work by the skin of my teeth on time. I see the list that's been left for me and think, Hmm, this looks like my home to do list. Lets see how much I get done. Halfway through I realize, Crap it's Shmoes birthday on Wednesday and I haven't made a menu or got ingredients for ANYTHING. Coincidentally its also my mother in laws and nephews birthday this week and I'm working, Shmoes working and the kids are home on school vacation.
Oh well, I got Saturday to look forward to. Casino!! More like FREE DRINKS AND NO KIDS!
Stay tuned!
Friday, February 18, 2011
So to start...
So I guess this will be my online sound-board, my very PUBLIC journal if you will.
Let me tell you a little about myself. I am thirty years old, and just re-joined the workforce.....AFTER 10 YEARS. I spent some glorious time home raising two young boys, now both eight and eleven.
You would think that that would be rewarding, maybe the future will show me that it was. Working out of the home is something of a shock. I feel like I need three of me to get everything done now (one to work, one to take kids to games and cook and clean and one to just sit home and drink wine to calm the other two).
Now onto the Un-wife, well I've been in an un-marriage for ten years this May, and yet my "better" (loose term) half insists that we are and have been married since we moved in together. Only we have separate accounts and I have no dress (boo).
He (we'll call him Shmoe) he works all day long and on weekends because he owns his own business, and business is GOOD. But his work schedule makes mine double. Double it up as Super Mom and Independent Working Woman, and that leaves House Mom.
House Mom HATES cleaning, she likes the "surface clean" that has to be done quick after work. (You know, the one where all the surfaces get clean and the clutter gets pushed into new hiding spots?)
Because I know that I can get the house "done" dinner and laundry started before "Wine Mom" comes out and gives it a shot.
Well this is all for now, the crazy rants start next time, happy reading...
Let me tell you a little about myself. I am thirty years old, and just re-joined the workforce.....AFTER 10 YEARS. I spent some glorious time home raising two young boys, now both eight and eleven.
You would think that that would be rewarding, maybe the future will show me that it was. Working out of the home is something of a shock. I feel like I need three of me to get everything done now (one to work, one to take kids to games and cook and clean and one to just sit home and drink wine to calm the other two).
Now onto the Un-wife, well I've been in an un-marriage for ten years this May, and yet my "better" (loose term) half insists that we are and have been married since we moved in together. Only we have separate accounts and I have no dress (boo).
He (we'll call him Shmoe) he works all day long and on weekends because he owns his own business, and business is GOOD. But his work schedule makes mine double. Double it up as Super Mom and Independent Working Woman, and that leaves House Mom.
House Mom HATES cleaning, she likes the "surface clean" that has to be done quick after work. (You know, the one where all the surfaces get clean and the clutter gets pushed into new hiding spots?)
Because I know that I can get the house "done" dinner and laundry started before "Wine Mom" comes out and gives it a shot.
Well this is all for now, the crazy rants start next time, happy reading...
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